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August 24, 2013
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3 (who?)
Alternate POV Series: Discord World War.
Written by James Sylar (myself).
Translated by Drake Epsilon
Edited by Louis Badalament.
Idea original by Alex Warlorn.
MLP: FIM is owned by Hasbro (?).
Every other character or reference belong to its respective owner.

Generosity's pebbles. Part 3.

*Unofficial Opening Song: Share The World by TVXQ*


As soon as the harlequin jumped to attack Rainbow, a group of golems rose from the ground, surrounding us.

These new enemies, seven at least, were different from those we’d faced before.
The one we smashed with the train, and the one fighting against Flutercruel were big, bipedal creatures, with hands. On the other side, these were small, almost of our sise, pony looking, and with sharpened claws that looked like diamond knives.
The harlequin had called the other golem “Arms”, so we decided to call these “Knives”.

The knives threw themselves against us. It was everything but a fair battle, our Pegasus couldn’t fly, nor could we cast magic, thanks to the minerals on Arms, making even Twilight and Trixie next to useless. But there was no way we could just cross our forelegs and accept defeat.

“If we had to use brute force, so be it!” I screamed, bucking one of the golems right in what would be its face. It hurt like… bucking a rock… but to my surprise, both the head and the body were mostly empty.

“So that’s how they are able to move so quickly…” pondered Twilight, analyzing our opponents in search for any weakness.

AJ and Pinkie quickly start to mimic what I had done, and I joined them. I felt a little sorrow afterwards, though I’m not sure if it was because I had destroyed such a masterpiece or… never mind, it was not the time to be thinking on that.

“Rainbow!” I heard both Flutters scream, and I turn my head to find that the harlequin was kicking Dashie’s plot, not what I would expected.

I tried to go to help, but the knives stopped me.

“Move away!” screamed Lightning, using her special talent to tackle both, and hover at maximum speed towards Arms.


“Rainbow!” I screamed along with my mother, watching the harlequin brutally hit our friend, unable to help her. This made me careless, and Arms managed to push me against the ground, pressing the palms of its hand down upon me with all his strength.  

Just when I thought I'd be crushed, the golem was hit by a powerful gust of wind, throwing him away from me. Lightining Arrow was the one who saved me, giving me the opportunity to get back to my feet and breathe.

"Go and help Rainbow!" she shouted, breathing heavily and panting “I will fend off this one!”

I didn't stop to respond, Rainbow needed urgent help.  I made a mental note to thank her later.

I rushed towards the harlequin, who I managed to take down before it could get at Rainbow. She recovered immediately and started to strike back at me with great, sweeping blows.  
I managed to block some of her attacks with my sword, but her strikes were so strong, there was no doubt they'd either end up breaking my weapon or the wing I was holding it with.


Meanwhile, the rest of us were still fighting against the knives. Even Eureka had joined the battle, drawn away from repairing Puffing Tom by the violent din.

“How is that we haven’t defeated them already?!” screamed Trixie who has just managed to somehow trick two Knives into cutting themselves up.

“It’s almost as if a new one appeared every time we defeated one!” yelled Rarity.

“Actually…” said Octavia, pointing towards the remnants of one of the golems, which were reunifying themselves back into its former shape.

“AGH!!” both Trixie and Rarity screamed out of frustration.

"Blinkie! Inkie! You have to go to a safe place!" our big sister said.

"What about you?" my twin asked worriedly, "And what about your friends?"

"Yeah, we are not abandoning you!"  I added. "We will fight too!"

"This place isn't safe for you!"  Pinkie screamed back at us.  In our moment of distraction, one of the golems used that chance to attack us.
But in the last moment, Octavia tripped a golem using Applejack's lasso, saving us from an unexpected attack.

"This is no time for squabbling or be distracted!" Octavia said, only to be surprised by another of the Knives.  But before it could harm her, a huge cake barreled at the monster with such force, that its rocky head was decapitated by all three of its delectable strawberry-cream layers.  

"You're right!" said Pinkie with figurative fire on her eyes, "If I want to protect my sisters I just have to defeat all the enemies before they hurt them!"

Octavia stood surprised at our side for a couple of seconds.
“Where did she get that cake?”


I had no idea.  One moment, there was nothing, and suddenly BAM, it was there.  And it wasn't the first time she had pulled objects from thin air.  I'd watched every moment of it happening; she'd simply seemed to stretch her arms into the infinite, and bring out whatever she pleased.
Well, not exactly to the infinity, just too outside one field of vision…

Nopony else seemed to notice or care much about it.  I would've liked more time to ruminate on this, but this was the battlefield and I didn't have the luxury.  Pinkie was right; to protect everyone meant defeating all our enemies as soon as possible.

I was pretty sure that Applejack would do fine without her lasso.

The Knife-limbed creatures were dangerous because of their razor-sharp appendages and their speed.  Luckily, they proved not to be durable foes, even Twilight and Trixie managed to break them without using magic.  The rest of the girls should be able to handle themselves, as well.

The Arms was another story, not only it was massive, but it was very quickly and had four arms. Lightning was attacking him with what looked like punches of wind, but it made little damage to it, and it exhausted her greatly. She wouldn’t last longer if she keeps fighting alone.
Luckily, whoever designed it has focused too much attention on its “aesthetics” and it had left it off-balanced and clumsy.  I started to run towards where it was, prepared to lace its legs just like Fiddlesticks have taught me.

But it seemed to anticipate my intentions and even when I was out of its reach; it slammed the ground with such strength that I was launched into the air and landed hard.  Nothing felt broken but it was difficult to stand up, even when I saw the Arms coming close to me.

"Leave her alone!" screamed Pinkie, firing cupcakes from a Gatling gun. Her attack didn't discourage the golem at all.

"Pinkie!  I'll take care of this!" my best friend yelled, while jumping in front of me.

"Vinyl! What are you doing?" I yelled back at her.

"Trust me!" Vinyl leapt directly towards the golem's massive fist, holding something in her hooves. I could barely hold back my impulse to close my eyes and turn my head away.

"Secret technique: Catch...” and the Arms was frozen in place for a couple of seconds, confused about what was happening to the pony it had just hit. The pony that hadn't been knocked back.


And a shockwave crashed down upon the Arms, tearing its arm at the same time that all that force it just used returned back against itself. Vinyl has just used her Dial Fossil to absorb and return its own blow. The golem's arm exploded and fell to the ground on its back, breaking in hundreds of smaller pebbles.

Vinyl, finally was flung backwards for the backfire of her improvised attack, but Pinkie and Applejack managed to cushion her fall.


"Are you insane?! How did you know that was going to work?!"  Tavie yelled at me.

I couldn't hold my laughter in.  "Actually I didn't think it was going to work!"

Tavie facehooved in frustration.

“Forget the rock-monster!  If we want to end this battle we have to defeat the harlequin, it's our best shot!”  Twilight shouted.  “Lightning, use your ability to throw Pinkie and Applejack so they can help Fluttercruel!”

The pegasus nodded, preparing to execute his signature move by clearing the road of golems.

“Girls, d-do me a favor; watch my sisters while I'm not here, okay?”  Pinkie Pie begged.

Octavia tried to return Applejack’s rope to her, but she just said, “You can keep the rope for now, sugarcube, Ah’m sure it’ll be useful for you.”

“Are you ready?” Lightning asked to the two earth ponies.  Applejack and Pinkie both nodded in the affirmative, placing themselves in “launch” position, and were immediately fired to where they were most needed.


“Pinkie Missile!” screamed my companion before crash-landing on the harlequin. It was a direct hit, launching the harlequin almost thirty feet away.  Her body was sent spinning end-over-end as she hit the ground.  This, nevertheless, caused her no visible damage, and just a few seconds later she stood up and started to run back to where we were, with the look of a wild mare.

“You think she’s made of rocks, too?”  Cruel managed to say, exploiting those precious few seconds of inaction to rest her pained wings.

“Applejack, Rainbow is badly hurt, please go see to her!” added Shy, in deep concern.

“Go!  Cruel and I can handle the growly one!”  Insisted Pinkie, firing a rocket launcher. The projectile turned out to be a small cat with a cake for a body, which left a rainbow-colored contrail in its wake. ...I didn’t get it, either.  

When this "projectile" reached the harlequin, she simply swatted it away, causing a colorful bang with shining sparks.

Next came a blinding barrage of muffins from Pinkie’s Party Gatling gun. There were so many muffins traveling at such a high speed, that it actually slowed the harlequin down somewhat... somehow…  

“What are you waiting for? Go!” Screamed Cruel, and I started to run towards Rainbow. Where did Discord find these powerful beings?! The best I could do was making sure we didn't lose one of our companions.

Rainbow’s wounds were pretty serious; things would turn really bad if they weren’t treated fast enough.

“Don't worry, partner, Twilight will be able to help you.” I told the unconscious Rainbow Dash, even though Twilight was unable to use magic here. So technically, it was a lie.  Not something I was proud of, no sir.

“Appejack! Watch out!” screamed somepony whose voice I couldn't identify.  Instinctively, I jumped back, taking Rainbow with me on my back, which allowed me to dodge a hit from a golem that was still emerging from the ground.
This one, however, was decidedly different from the rest.

It was smaller than Arms but much bigger than Knives, and it was shaped like a teenage dragon. However, what really grabbed our attention was that its rocky skin was wreathed in flames.
Thus, we named it Pyro.

I took some steps back, hoping to turn around and gallop far away from there, but I ended up crashing into Cruel and Pinkie who were also backing away from the harlequin.

“And now what?” asked Cruel.

“Uh, panic?” answered her mother, laughing nervously.

We were surrounded, and it was highly unlikely that the others would be stepping in to lend a hoof. And to top it all off, just being close to Pyro brought on heat exhaustion!

It was then something fell just in front on us, looking like nothing more than a gray shadow. It was Night Gale, the only one who, apart from Shadowfax, hadn’t joined the battle up to that point.

“Get a hold of something, this is not going to be nice…” he whispered with a sinisterly tone.

In matter of seconds, I felt very cold, like if all the heat of my body was evaporating from me. The air became hard to breath too. I immediately fell to the ground... my head felt about to explode at any time!  I was barely managing to keep consciousness!

I observed that everyone around me was being affected, including Pyro and the harlequin.  Night Gale, however, stood, as an overwhelming presence. From my perspective, he looked like he has grown to Celestia’s size, but the TRUTH showed me that his physical size had not changed at all.

“What… what is this?” exclaimed the surprised harlequin, who, to my own surprise, managed to keep herself standing on her hooves. With appreciable effort, of course.  (At least, something affected her.)

“It’s impossible…! This is…!” Cruel lacked the strength to finish her sentence. Even forming coherent thoughts required tremendous willpower at that point.

I directed my gaze to the golem, which tried to support her weight with its four limbs.  And as suddenly as it has begun, those weird sensations faded out.  Night was just as surprised as frustrated.

“But... What? Not again!”  he yelled while stomping the ground with his forelegs.

Pyro took his advantage and struck a hit that send him flying far away, just to fall, spinning and twisting, back to the ground, until he’d landed in the mouth of a cave.

Pinkie's ears tingled.

“That cave is full of water!” she exclaimed, “If we left him there he's gonna drown!

“Water? Why is there a hole full of water?” I asked myself, looking towards the cave entrance and noting how it seemed intentionally dug; not a natural occurrence.


“Eh, Miss Pie?  And you too, Miss Pie? We found a new mineral on your field...” commented one of the researchers whose skin and mane were a little fried and crispy.  

He gave us a little rock sealed in a jar full of water.  
“We decided to name it Phloginstone, it has the property of spontaneous combustion if it is exposed to enough oxygen. Unfortunately, we have to use water from one of your nearby water well to flood the tunnels in order to avoid fire.”


“I'll save him!”  I screamed and jumped towards where he had fallen. I deeply regretted leaving Pinkie and Applejack to their own devices, but just as with Rainbow, Night was in grave danger.

I ran as fast as I could, opening my wings to catch the air beneath them.  In doing so, I effectively accomplished a few feet of hovering.

I reached the cavern's entrance and dove inside. As I feared, Night seemed to has lost consciousness, as I feared, and was short from falling to the bottom of the caves, where it would be impossible to reach him.

I managed to pull him out from the water and out of the cave, only to discover he wasn't breathing.

“What should I do? What should I do? What should I do?”  wailed a voice inside my head.  It was not my mother's, but my own voice.

“Eh.... CPR maybe?” My mother was as terrified as me.

“How do you do that?! I have only seen the Heimlich maneuver!”

“Well, you need to press his chest and then give him mouth to mouth breathing... I think...”

“MOUTH TO MOUTH?!”  I squawk, but immediately smash my face with my hoof. Was I really hesitating about saving one of my comrade's life over something as meaningless as pressing lips together?

I started to press his chest, even though I had no idea what I was doing.  Then I brought my mouth down and... and I blew with all my strength!  My first tries were failures, but at the third one, Night rose up a little suddenly, coughing up water and eventually calming down.

“You... saved my life?”  His tone was surprised, but his facial expression didn’t change in the slightest. Is he one of Octavia's relatives?

“Is that all the gratitude you can express, Night Gale?”  asked a deep but serene voice behind us.

“You are late, old wizard...” the vampire pegasus responded in some annoyance.

Shadowfax was there, with his smoking pipe.

“A wizard is never late, nor early, either, but just when it suits his purposes,” were the words of Shadowfax. Though I thought I heard them somewhere else.

“There is no time for this!” said my mother, recovering control.  “My friends and everypony else are in grave danger! You have to do something to help them!”

Shadowfax closed his eyes after hearing this, as if he was meditating the matter.

“I'm not supposed to get involved too much, those are my orders, but how could I deny a request like that, couldn't I?”

My mother drew a smile with hope on our face, though I didn't understand how he was supposed to help. After all, he was a unicorn, so his magic was blocked too!

But he didn’t even try casting a spell.  Rather, he just trotted a little closer to the battlefield, raising his two front legs as high as he could, held his position a few seconds, and then dropped his hooves down at full speed.

We suddenly felt a big tremor beneath us. Cracks appeared everywhere, and I meant that literally, even the air seemed to be cracking too!  It looked as if reality itself was an iceberg breaking in two.   The cracks reached the ground under Arms, and he began to sink under his own weight.

Those who were fighting it moved away just in time to evade the sinking golem’s grasping hands.  
The newly opened rift was closed as soon as it had appeared.

“HOW DARE YOU?!” Cried the harlequin, after seeing another of her sons being destroyed. She launched herself towards the new target of her rage, but was promptly stopped by all the knives that were being teleported right in her path.

“Now that we can use our magic freely we have the upper hand!” Trixie claimed pompously. Twilight, the one who teleported the golems, just rolled her eyes.

The Harlequin growled, her horn glowed, but nothing happened. She looked confused.

“If perhaps you are trying to find more pragmatite, I’m afraid it is out of your reach at the moment…” Shadowfax said with a somewhat condescending tone. This only enraged our enemy more.

The old mage was too calm and composed to be at the middle of a battle, no doubt the years hadn’t passed in vain for him.

“Shy, Cruel, we’ll take care of her, please go to help the others,” said Twilight, reminding me that the Pyro was still attacking Applejack and Pinkie.

“We’ll go with you!” claimed Vinyl, followed by Octavia, Inkie and Blinkie.

I smiled and I jumped in the air with the intention of going in their direction full speed. I have regained my ability to fly, so I was going to take advantage of it, maybe I could ended up doing a Sonic Flutterboom… as if!  Anyway, I was stopped by none other than Night Gale.


We had only survived up to that point thanks to Pinkie’s set of unpredictable and improbable skills, but facing the combined attack from the Harlequin and Pyro was too much even for her.  The poor thing could barely stand!  Materializing thoughts isn’t easy!
And I hadn’t been able to help too much, since I was concentrated on protecting Rainbow rather than countering their attacks.

Luckily, the Harlequin was gone, and Shadowfax had finally joined the battle. That thing about wizards never being late?  You and I know that’s just propaganda.
Although, even without our main enemy, the Pyro was a formidable foe who continued to attack us relentlessly.
And while Twilight, Trixie and Rarity had regained their ability to perform magic, they were all so exhausted physically that even the simplest spells took great effort. That didn’t stop them, though.

Returning to our own fight, Pinkie tried to cover the golem with icing, but this didn’t work at all. She tried to use the party gatling gun, again with no effects.
Octavia, Vinyl, and the twins arrived at where we were.  The musician had done as Pinkie had asked, protecting her sisters ferociously. But even the stoic cellist and the rampant DJ showed signs of exhaustion.
The only one who didn’t show signs of tiredness was Eureka, who was still fighting against the knives.

“Pinkie! When I give you the signal, try to stretch your foreleg and hit the golem as if it was a rubber band!” yelled Octavia, seeing the poor performance our fourth wall breaker was doing.

“Oh! Like Lu**y!” she replied. Yes, she pronounced it like that…

Then, a drop of water fell on her muzzle.

I felt a drop on my back, and then some fell on the golem. The three of us turn our heads skyward, finding not a rain cloud, but a tornado floating over us, full of water.
What really surprised me, though, was that it was Fluttershy who kept it spinning, only assisted by Night Gale. I wonder what Cruel said to motivate her…


“Come on, Mom, it’s less water than that last time, we can do it!”

“N-no, I can’t do it! It’s too much pressure! I know I'll do something wrong and mess up everything! It will go much better if you and Night do it on your own…”

“I can’t do it alone! I need you…” I didn’t know what I could say to convince her; she was pretty scared!

“So that’s what your desire to protect your friends and your daughter amounts to?” interrupted Night, disdainfully. “I expected more of you, the girl who can tame beast like dragons and manticores with a stare, but I now see that you are only a scaredy-cat!”

“That's enough!"  Shadowfax snapped.  "I won't let you disrespect her like that!” but my mother stopped him.

“I’ll do it!” she spoke determinedly. From within, I could feel how her soul was ablaze with passion.

Smiling maliciously, Night said, “We’ll do it together!”  And the two pegasus started flying in circles around the opening of the sunken cave at top speed.  And before you ask, no, I wasn’t merely a bystander. Mom and I have been practicing to share the control of our body and coordinate it, improving our control over it 120%!!


The whirlwind came upon the Pyro, covering it completely and extinguishing the flames. Then it backed off from him, dodging his counterattack, and the golem's skin broke out into flames again.

And they extinguish it and got away, again and again, until the sudden and repeatedly change in temperature began to affect him.
That what had been tiny cracks in the beginning ended up covering its entire body.

“Pinkie, do it now!” Octavia yelled, and our pink companion jumped to the action.

"GOMU GOMU NO PISTOL!" she screamed and hit the golem with force, making it explodes. What was left of it was throw too far for it to be reunited.

“We did it!” Cruel shouted enthusiastic. Shy breathed a sigh of relief.

I heard a loud explosion behind me, and I turned to see the harlequin being blown away, alongside of some of the knives.

Trixie gloated after having finally having used her demolition spell, but Twilight had to run over and help her stand, since she had spent almost all her magical reserves.
We were very exhausted, but finally we were winning!

“We still have to defeat the Harlequin!” Octavia claimed, and our group went to join the other.

The harlequin, seeing how we had her surrounded, launched a deafening shriek, and the ground beneath our hooves began to rise. A new golem appeared, much bigger than all the others we had seen before!

“Atlas! Crush these barbarians who dared hurt your brothers and sisters!”

Atlas was formed of only unremarkable rocks, no strange mineral to weaken or restrict us.  And yet its presence was terrifying; everypony froze in their tracks at the sight of it.

“I’m TIRED of this! Inkie, let’s go!” Blinkie screamed, and the twins ran straight towards the colossus.  Octavia, Pinkie and I tried to stop them, but the rock farmers managed to evade us.  Maybe they also have some of Pinkie's Pinkie sense.

The youngest threw herself against the Atlas golem, hitting it with her shoulder while immediately placing her ear against its body to listen the rock vibrations.  The golem tried to catch her, but he moved slowly, and Blinkie was able to dart away before it could reach her.

“Hit him right there!” she shouted to her sister, pointed at a specific a point in its rocky leg I couldn’t distinguish from the rest.

“I’m sorry,” said Inkie before landing the most pathetic-looking hit I have ever seen. And yet, it was good enough to make Atlas' rock skin waver like a liquid.

Fissures cracked open all along its body.  Big chunks start to fall of, hitting the ground thunderously. The gigantic golem has been defeated in matter of seconds, and with relatively no effort.  We were all way to astonished to say anything.

“W-what did you do?” Rarity finally managed to say.

She was speaking to Inkie, however, it was her twin who answered.

“That’s her special talent, putting great pressure upon whatever she touches. Very useful for turning coal into diamonds, though the process can still take some time…”

Inkie was walking away into the cloud of dust that the golem had kicked up when it fell. I directed a glance to Octavia, who looked as confused as me.  She, me, and mostly everypony followed Inkie into the cloud.  We found her removing stones out of her way.

“I found her!” she said with relief. And to our surprise, she was talking about the Harlequin.

“Perfect! Now that is down we can make her pay everything she did to Rainbow and everypony else!” exclaimed Cruel, walking towards our enemy with her sword unsheathed, but both her mother and Rarity stopped her.


“Why waste our energy beating somepony who is already defeated?” I told Cruel, trying to calm her down. The harlequin… wasn’t a threat anymore.

We all maintained our distance from her, however, except Inkie, who apparently wanted to be sure our foe was still breathing

The harlequin opened her eyes, surprising Pinkie’s little sister, but even when she tried to stand up with what remained of her strength… her wounds brought her back down.  
“Damn you… I will… make you pay…” she vowed in between gasps.

“Please, stay calm, we will help you…” Inkie promised, followed by a big “WHAT?!!” from everypony else.

“How… do you expect me to… accept your help?!” the Harlequin snarled “Don’t come closer! I HATE you! I HATE you all! I will NEVER forgive you!”

“That doesn’t matter now! You can hate me as much as you want!” answered Inkie with surprising conviction, “What matters now is that you heal and get better! Then you can fight with us again!”

The harlequin stood in silence; both form the surprise of that statement as from the flash that Inkie’s chest emanated. That was it, it was definitively that! The element of generosity!

And as soon as her element fade out inside her soul, we both noticed that the Harlequin was teleporting far away, being broken into small black squares that moved away very quickly. Something told me that she wasn’t the one who casted that spell…


The injured Harlequin was brought a couple of kilometers away.  Two of her companions, who'd been watching the fight since the beginning shook their heads.  

“First that stupid princess fails to capture the Second Loyalty, and now this… Master Discord is going to be very disappointed and annoyed at us…” said the first of them without a pinch of emotion, busily rearranging her comrade's bones with telekinesis, without a shred of delicacy.  When she finished, her wound on her started to heal on her own.

“Are you kidding, the old guy is surely LOLing at our expenses, don’t you think?” added the third Harlequin, directing her words to her still-hurt companion, who only responded with annoyed growls.

“Let’s go back to the palace, I felt like someone is watching us…” said the first before teleporting herself and her comrades momentarily out of sight.
Hello, here is a new chapter! I hope you all like it, but please tell me if you find something wrong :D
Also, can someone help me with Applejack's accent?

V.2. Edited October 22, 2013
I have edited all of the chapters that i posted already, read them again if you did before today XD
Some changes that i did, in case you don't want to read everything again:
*Removed the characters of Sword and Shield.
*Mentioned Pinkie's parents.
*Reduced the variety of golems the harlequin use.
*Added some random changes that probably will go unnoticeable.
Add a Comment:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2013
Who IS this clown? Is she discorded or a willing slave of Discord? What is her NAME? And her cutie mark? Was the golem sapient or just a mechanism?

Making my cousin Sword and me, next to useless.  


"We will stop him!" added Sword

"We'll stop him!" added Sword

When did the flutters get a sword?

I added. "We will fight too!
I added. "We will fight too!"

I'm surprised Ovtavia could handle AJ's lasso.

For being rock monsters, they are going down easy to flesh and blood opponents without the ability they've honed their talents on.

Even Eureka had joined the battle, drawn away from repairing Puffing Tom by the violent din.

She's an engineer not a warrior.

It was smaller than Arms and Bulk but much bigger than Knives, and it was shaped like a teenage dragon. However, what really grabbed our attention was that its rocky skin was wreathed in flames, thus, we named it Pyro.


Okay. First you have a golem made of magic negating rock. Then you have one of your OCs (Night) able to use their magic ANYWAY?

how apparently wanted to be sure she was still breathing
how apparently wanted to be sure she was still breathing.
KyonSylar Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2013
did you mean "who apparently..."? I edited it anyways, thanks :D
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2013
KyonSylar Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2013
The harlequins identity and motives will be revealed soon :D

Swords is the son of Shield's aunt, so they are cousins. Should i add a description of the characters?

Fluttercruel got a wooden sword in Canterlot, just before leaving, and Rainbow got a knife there too. 

Octavia knows how to handle strings, and what's a lasso but a conglomerate of strings?

The golems are made form rocks, but each rock isn't fused to the next, so they break quite easily. As easily as they reconstruct themselves. The harlequin is working on this flaw. 

The puffing Tom isn't working yet, and Eureka's work requires her to be strong (lifting heavy things and wrenching, etc).

All the golems emerge from the ground, should i add it into the narration? 

The pragmatite blocks unicorn magic, maybe deers and vigacorns will be affected too, but it doesn't affect earth ponie's and pegasus magic, neither does with spiritual magic or permanent magic that it was cast previously. 
The pegasus didn't fly because another mineral, heliumcarvorite, on the body of the Golem. 

I didn't understand that last part °3°

I will correct the mistakes, Thank you :D

alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2013
" Should i add a description of the characters?"

You introduced so many OCs so fast it made my head spin. 

"All the golems emerge from the ground, should i add it into the narration? "


ItsfromPeople Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2013
Nice, very nice. The battle against the Harlequin was a battle against an enemy summoner, apparently able to create golems out of the earth that is around everywhere and considering that we were told that several special minerals are underground, it does make sense that some golems have special abilities like being on fire.

Also good to see that they did nickname their enemies, making it easier to describe the battle and keep the various enemies apart. Again while nothing is revealed about her identity for now, the Harlequin still is earily similar to Rarigreed. She didn't reveal why she does hate them so much, considering that they have no idea who she is.

The heroes use coordinationed attacks, Vinyl's special attack reflection, launching each other at the enemy, Night Gale's strange attack (it is a bit similar to the stare of Fluttershy but with much bigger range), Shadowfax's earthquake assault, all the things Pinkie Pie is able to pull out of nowhere, a 120 % cooler tornado made by Fluttershy and Fluttercruel, the Inkie Blinkie rock smash combo (it is super-effective!) and finally generosity. But before they can talk some sense into the Harlequin or heal her she is teleported away by two of her comrades.

Fluttershy and Fluttercruel also got more time to shine in this story, it was strangely funny to see Fluttercruel being so embarressed about giving mouth to mouth but considering her real age it does make sense that it is strange to her.

But something or someone is watching them. There is more going on then it seems.

"wielding his wooden sword" should be "wielding her wooden sword."

"the more common ones" should be "The more common ones"

"when two of her companions were looking everything" should be "when two of her companions were looking at everything"

"pathetic-looking hit i have ever seen" should be "pathetic-looking hit I have ever seen"

"who looked as confuse as I was" should be "who looked as confused as I was"
KyonSylar Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2013
Thank you for your comment :D
I will edit those mistakes right now :3
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